i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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