soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
