There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize