it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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