that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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