it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
