come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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