bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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