i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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