Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
