What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
