I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
