someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
