So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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