Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
