i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
