Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
