I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A+ Viking dick
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
