Jerry, you need to find god
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
