She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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