Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
