like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
