i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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