would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He passed out mid-signature
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
