maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
