ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
