do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
