I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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