saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
