I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
