that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
zippers are such a cool invention
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
