How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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