i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
