Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i believe in u and ur pee
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
