wakey wakey hands off snakey
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
