i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize