Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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