and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize