I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
