This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
