is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
