He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
