The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize