I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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