Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
