He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
