When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize