how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
