i permit you to call me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
