who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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