Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize