i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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