I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
