A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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