You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize