It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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