a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
