I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
