You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
