just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
