She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize