My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
