at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
