We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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